Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winder.  However, the weather turned cold and he reluctantly started to fly south.


In a short time, ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth
into a barnyard, almost frozen.  A cow wandered by and crapped on him.   The sparrow thought it was the end.   But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings.


Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then, a large  cat came by, following the birdsong, cleared away the manure, found the bird, and ate him.


The Moral of the Story:


1. Everyone who dumps on you is not necessarily your enemy.


2. Everyone who gets you out of the crap is not necessarily your friend.


3. And if you're warm and happy in a pile of manure, keep your mouth shut.
Animal Sounds

A group of young children were sitting in a circle with their teacher. She was going around in turn asking them all questions.

First she asked, "Davy, what noise does a cow make?"

He responded, "It goes moo."

The she asked, "Alice, what noise does a cat make?"

Alice replied, "It goes meow."

Next she asked, "Jamie, what sound does a lamb make?"

Her response was, "It goes baa."

Finally she questioned one last child, "Jennifer, what sound does a mouse make?"

She replied, "Er, it goes ... click!"
Y2K Sale


FOR SALE:

200  Canned hams.
100lbs.Dried beans.
2000 gal.Fresh water(including underground tank).
5000 watt Propane generator.
800 Assorted canned vegetables.
8 Cases sterno (24 per case).
18 Boxes matches.
2000 Rounds of 45 caliber bullets.
10 Cases 12 ga. shotgun shells.
50 "D" cell batteries.
75 "AA" batteries.
47 "AAA" batteries.
1 Solar powered radio.
4 Cases powdered protein.
1 Milk cow.
1 Bull.
7 Laying hens.
1 Rooster.
40x60 Underground shelter (with separate livestock quarters).
1 Wood burning stove.
8 Cords wood.
43 Assorted magazines (12 adult related).
12 Flashlights.
8 Kerosene lamps.
16 Military blankets.

Also, many other miscellaneous survival items.

All items sold together or separately. Bids will be accepted
starting 1/2/00. Serious inquiries only.

The Taxpayer's Lament


Tax his cow, Tax his goat;
Tax his pants, Tax his coat;
Tax his crop, Tax his work;
Tax his ties, Tax his shirt;
Tax his chew, Tax his smoke
Teach him taxing is no joke.
Tax his tractor, Tax his mule;
Tell him, Taxing is the rule.
Tax his oil, Tax his gas
Tax his notes, Tax his cash
Tax him good and let him know,
That after taxes, he has no dough.
If he hollers, Tax him more;
Tax him till he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, Tax his grave,
Tax his sod in which he's laid.
Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove him to his doom."
After he's gone, we won't relax.
We'll still collect inheritance tax.


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