A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 4-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, soaking in the whole event. The man thought, "Great...he's 4 and I'm gonna have to start explaining the birds and bees. No need to jump the gun - I'll just let him ask, and I'll answer." After everything was over, the man walked over to his son and said, "Well son, do you have any questions?" "Just one." gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit that cow?"

One day a salesman stopped by the Jammer Jones farm, knocked, and Jammer's wife Frannie came to the door. "Is your husband home, Ma'am?" he asked. "Sure is. He's over to the cow barn." "Well, I got something to show him, Ma'am. Will I have any difficulty finding him?" "Shouldn't have any difficulties. He's the one with the beard and mustache."

A Glass Of Milk Submitted By: Nalat Somebody left a glass of milk next to the keyboard. Reaction?     Optimist: The glass is half full.   Pessimist: The glass is half empty.   Futurist: The milk's in the wrong half of the glass.   Pascal programmers: Well, what type of milk is it?   C Programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the jug.   Assembly programmers: No thanks; I drink straight from the cow.   Basic programmers: No thanks; I'm still breast feeding.   MIS: I'LL DRINK IT IF YOU CAN GIVE ME UNTIL NEXT YEAR.   Fuzzy logic guys: I may or may not have drunk some part of that milk.   Prolog programmers: I know I drank it - just don't ask me how.   Non-procedural language programmers: I drank it when nobody was  looking.   UI designers: What's that crap in my glass?   Pentium users: I drank Glass * .49999999 . . . but don't hold me to   that.   Windows users: Where's my straw?   Mac users: Where's my pump?   UNIX users: Nahh . . . too easy.   Multimedia author:

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